trapical:

to be honest i find it hard to believe that theres someone out there that would be able to spend the rest of their life with me

parent: why hasn't ____ been round lately? I thought you were friends
me: well they turned into a cunt

alltheselittlethings123:

mycroft-queenofcake:

llamabutts:

omg what if you opened someones blog and their background was your face 

is that how celebrities feel?

alltheangst:

jackbassam:

When I have the sex talk with my kids I’m just going to tell them to follow the basic rule

“If your age is on the clock, you’re too young for the cock”

yeah, and when my kid turns thirteen imma go,

“Sit back down, I was talking about military time.”

iphoneicarly:

only 7 billion followers away from dominating the world!! promo me please :))